A christening in Meath and a pair of tights twelve centimetres too short in the body sent me back to the labels. This is an analytical guide to children's occasion legwear for the Irish turn of season: what denier and fibre content actually mean, why cuff depth and leg height decide whether socks stay up, and why age is the weakest size on the packet. It ends with a scored comparison of knee-highs, ankle socks and tights across the school return, the September wedding season and early-autumn christenings.

Scotland is already back at school and England and Wales return between the 1st and 3rd of September, which makes the last fortnight of August the right moment to sort the hosiery drawer. This planner counts exactly how many ankle socks, knee-highs and tights a normal week needs, and explains which weights bridge a warm playground and a cold assembly hall. It also shows how one drawer can serve both the school run and a September wedding, without a single last-minute dash to the shops.